So this is how it ends...

""You never know how much you loved something until the moment when you lose it", they said, but it's not sufficent to descibe the actual pain which turns from emotive into a sharp physical one, torturing your guts, tingling your limbs' muscles making you feel too weak to even stand erect or even lie on the ground, breathless. That was actually how it felt. Curious to say she got to know it now for the first time after so many years of life in which she supposedly could have experieced everything a living being could experience or feel. She had lost everything there was left for her to lose, something she thought was never going to disappear, for real this time. But life is a bitch and molds people and their useless lives according to it mischievous will, making sure nothing will ever go how those small feeble beings plan to make it go. Making them part, sometimes for no reason, sometimes for many, leaving them with nothing at all to cling onto after having helped them to grow so attached to it to believe that was everything they needed to live. That conviction, which never really managed to catch her and change her mind through these decades, eventually made her fall to her knees, making her wish she was able to quit life like anybody else could. Too bad there wasn't much to do for something like her, no matter how many times she pushed the lame deep into her stomach, pressing its sharp tip to trace the base of her neck, scratching her arms in all possible directions. Everything was completely useless. He was gone and her life was too. The normal life she was dreaming about, a life of no fears, pain or worries. She did not deserve it, not yet and maybe she never will. Beasts like her are the antonyms of happiness, it shuns damned creatures of her species, condamning them to a life of sorrow. There was another saying though, "Out of sight, out of mind", which helped her to gather her shreds of flesh to drag herself far away and let herself die alone, hoping the thought of him could never come back to remind her how hurtful her presence has always been to others. This is how it will end, she hoped, wishing death will soon come to hold her into her arms to drag her away with itself once for all.